Post the prompt assignment you chose, the title of your piece here, and also a link to it (a link to it on the YWP website). Do not post your actual piece here.
This one brings up a thousand thoughts. The premise of the price is gripping, even before the last few lines. Each sentence holds so much emotion, yet it never seems forced. I assume that that is because it is real; because each line was already in your hands, ready to be typed out. I can tell it flowed out, but I can also tell that it was difficult to write, which only adds to the effect. This was a really great piece, Zach. Thank you.
Very thoughtful and interesting. I disagree with you on a couple of things--primarily because of your use of "every" and "all." I find that these words can rarely be applied. Rarely will statement pass the test of being "all" or "every." Still, you have good things to say and I enjoyed reading your piece. I have an interesting article for you sometime. Remind me about it.
Ian, I understand your point of view and I agree with many of the points you made, but I do not think it is fair to say every white person is essentially racist to one degree or another. It would be more fair to say that some white people are racist, or it would be even more correct to say EVERY race has some racist people. In fact, it is essentially a racist comment itself to say that ALL white people have underlying racism. I believe that there are racist people of every race. I also do not agree that almost every privileged person was raised in a manner to oppress a certain group of people. You really can't jump to wild conclusions like that. I understand where you are coming from, but you should consider thinking more equally.
After hearing the inspiration of this story, (a solid 30 seconds ago), I have a higher appreciation for this. The level of imagination, of creativity and spontaneity is beautiful. The puns made me smile and laugh far more than they should have. To be fair that happens with all the puns I see. This was a beautiful piece of writing and I have already put this in my anthology. I was really hoping the tree and the cereal box will get together.
Anabel, this was truly incredible and inspiring. I could imagine the tree looking through the kitchen window at a box of cheerios. This was incredibly fun to read. I love how you incorporated our science lessons into the piece as well. Hearing the process for this piece was magnificent. Your creativity is mind boggling. My favorite line was, "With you by my side I feel as if I could perform photosynthesis." This is truly a work of art and I have already put it in my anthology. I wonder what happens after the last line of this piece.
Colombe, this was a very interesting piece. This was one of those stories where, as the reader, you are hooked on every word and cannot stop reading until the story is over. I like how the main character has little description, but you can tell a lot about them and what they value in life through this tale. I was not expecting the ending at all and it was definitely an effective conclusion!
Skyra this was really intriguing. The characters were not described with very many words but I could picture them so well. It felt kind of like a scooby doo mystery. When you mentioned the castle I pictured a spooky castle and behind that I saw a lightning bolt flash across the sky. It was really interesting to see a sky person whose emotions are typically bottled up unleash them for a second and make a decision based on those hidden emotions.
This was really surprising. I didn't expect the main character to decide to get revenge at the end of the story–I though she would talk Marcy out of it, though I suppose that a character like Marcy would be difficult to reason with, especially drunk. It was amazing what a clear picture you gave of the two characters and their friendship in such a short story. It felt like it could be a story someone was telling from their own memory of it happening, and it's a little scary to think about what could've happened to the main character that would cause her to decide to get revenge. I really enjoyed reading this.
Good writing Bosco I enjoyed your descriptive word choice and how it nicely tied in with the story line. I also like how you made me the reader dig into the story, and find the symbolism behind the woman in the corner of the room. I also enjoyed your use of the world "coupled". I have one question. Did something inspire you to write this (because I think you might have found some inspiration to write this story)?
Wow... This brought me internal stress. At the beginning I was worked up with the emotional story. However, the end was really surprising. I liked how you played with my and other readers' emotions. Also I love the familial detail and emotion locked up in this. I can picture this perfectly.
Alden, I enjoyed reading this. I started reading about the cat creating tightness inside of the shirt, and I was a little confused. However, when you lead into the third arm, I could clearly visualize the situation and the thought process of this person. It seems as though it's a very nervous stream of consciousness. The line about the club with tricycles and three pronged forks made an abrupt but perfectly thought out ending.
Challenge: Bully
ReplyDeleteTitle: Dearest Bully
http://youngwritersproject.org/node/13312
This one brings up a thousand thoughts. The premise of the price is gripping, even before the last few lines. Each sentence holds so much emotion, yet it never seems forced. I assume that that is because it is real; because each line was already in your hands, ready to be typed out. I can tell it flowed out, but I can also tell that it was difficult to write, which only adds to the effect. This was a really great piece, Zach. Thank you.
DeleteChallenge: Letter
ReplyDeleteTitle: Dear People
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/14104
Hi Ian,
DeleteVery thoughtful and interesting. I disagree with you on a couple of things--primarily because of your use of "every" and "all." I find that these words can rarely be applied. Rarely will statement pass the test of being "all" or "every." Still, you have good things to say and I enjoyed reading your piece. I have an interesting article for you sometime. Remind me about it.
Best, Mr. D
Ian, I like how your piece made me take a look at my own subtle behaviors.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteIan, I understand your point of view and I agree with many of the points you made, but I do not think it is fair to say every white person is essentially racist to one degree or another. It would be more fair to say that some white people are racist, or it would be even more correct to say EVERY race has some racist people. In fact, it is essentially a racist comment itself to say that ALL white people have underlying racism. I believe that there are racist people of every race. I also do not agree that almost every privileged person was raised in a manner to oppress a certain group of people. You really can't jump to wild conclusions like that. I understand where you are coming from, but you should consider thinking more equally.
DeleteChallenge: Door
ReplyDeleteTitle: Only a Gust of Wind
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/13753
I liked this Hannah. I was especially curious about how it would end. Thanks for a good story.
DeleteBest, Mr. D
Challenge: General
ReplyDeleteTitle: Love Letter from A Tree to A Box of Cheerios
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/14248
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteAfter hearing the inspiration of this story, (a solid 30 seconds ago), I have a higher appreciation for this. The level of imagination, of creativity and spontaneity is beautiful. The puns made me smile and laugh far more than they should have. To be fair that happens with all the puns I see. This was a beautiful piece of writing and I have already put this in my anthology. I was really hoping the tree and the cereal box will get together.
DeleteI agree with Zac i really like your imagination and i thought that the tree was going to get together with the cereal box. I think this was amazing
DeleteAnabel, this was truly incredible and inspiring. I could imagine the tree looking through the kitchen window at a box of cheerios. This was incredibly fun to read. I love how you incorporated our science lessons into the piece as well. Hearing the process for this piece was magnificent. Your creativity is mind boggling. My favorite line was, "With you by my side I feel as if I could perform photosynthesis." This is truly a work of art and I have already put it in my anthology. I wonder what happens after the last line of this piece.
DeleteChallenge: Attic
ReplyDeleteTitle: Secret In the attic
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/14249
Hey Colombe,
DeleteThis was great. What a secret, huh? I was surprised. Well done.
Mr. D
Colombe, this was a very interesting piece. This was one of those stories where, as the reader, you are hooked on every word and cannot stop reading until the story is over. I like how the main character has little description, but you can tell a lot about them and what they value in life through this tale. I was not expecting the ending at all and it was definitely an effective conclusion!
DeleteChallenge: ER
ReplyDeleteTitle: Sticks and Eyes
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/14272
I like the title----it's better than sticks and stones, and probably better to have a stick (than a stone), in your eye. Good piece.
DeleteChallenge: Illegal
ReplyDeleteTitle: Just Another Weekend
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/14346
This is great Skyra. I didn't think she was going to do it!
DeleteSkyra this was really intriguing. The characters were not described with very many words but I could picture them so well. It felt kind of like a scooby doo mystery. When you mentioned the castle I pictured a spooky castle and behind that I saw a lightning bolt flash across the sky. It was really interesting to see a sky person whose emotions are typically bottled up unleash them for a second and make a decision based on those hidden emotions.
DeleteThis was really surprising. I didn't expect the main character to decide to get revenge at the end of the story–I though she would talk Marcy out of it, though I suppose that a character like Marcy would be difficult to reason with, especially drunk. It was amazing what a clear picture you gave of the two characters and their friendship in such a short story. It felt like it could be a story someone was telling from their own memory of it happening, and it's a little scary to think about what could've happened to the main character that would cause her to decide to get revenge. I really enjoyed reading this.
Deletechallenge: ER
ReplyDeleteTitle: Reaper
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/14378
Very nice. At first, I thought the woman's voice was going to be a love interest, but I was fooled. Well done.
DeleteFrom Owen Deffner:
DeleteGood writing Bosco I enjoyed your descriptive word choice and how it nicely tied in with the story line. I also like how you made me the reader dig into the story, and find the symbolism behind the woman in the corner of the room. I also enjoyed your use of the world "coupled". I have one question. Did something inspire you to write this (because I think you might have found some inspiration to write this story)?
Challenge: ER
ReplyDeleteTitle: Under reaction
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/14306
I was waiting for the punch line. Good stuff!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteWow... This brought me internal stress. At the beginning I was worked up with the emotional story. However, the end was really surprising. I liked how you played with my and other readers' emotions. Also I love the familial detail and emotion locked up in this. I can picture this perfectly.
DeleteChallenge: Illegal
ReplyDeleteTitle: Weekends are for Living
http://youngwritersproject.org/node/14393
Love the last line––and the sergeant's name!
DeleteChallenge: ER
ReplyDeleteTitle: Unfortunate Thoughts
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/14396
Challenge: Letter
ReplyDeleteTitle: Dear Robyn
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/14406
Love the image of the kids rolling in the mud and then your father introducing himself. Nicely done.
Deletehttps://youngwritersproject.org/node/14409
ReplyDeletePrompt: Arm
Name: My Morning Routine
Close to the deadline, eh? Let's plan ahead a little bit next time so it's not quite so last minute. OK? Interesting take on the prompt, though.
DeleteAlden, I enjoyed reading this. I started reading about the cat creating tightness inside of the shirt, and I was a little confused. However, when you lead into the third arm, I could clearly visualize the situation and the thought process of this person. It seems as though it's a very nervous stream of consciousness. The line about the club with tricycles and three pronged forks made an abrupt but perfectly thought out ending.
Deletehttps://youngwritersproject.org/node/14424
ReplyDeletePrompt: ER
Title: The Accident